Bethune, SC





If tears could build a highway

And memories a lane

I'd walk right up to Heaven

To see you again.

written in cement in Bethune, South Carolina

(Bethune Pottery)



My family and I lived in a small town when I was a child (9 - 13 years old) in the middle of nowhere in South Carolina.  Bethune had a population of about 500 people.  We moved there because my father's employer moved him around as part of his career.

Here is a photo of our family taken about 1968 of the us on the front porch by my Uncle John that we used as our Christmas card that year, (as always *click* on any image for a better view):

"Bethune Gothic"

Sitting: Stephen Mix, Amelia Mix, Robert Mix (holding lunch)

Standing: Lin Mix, Joseph Mix

I bring up this topic today because of my visit to see people there I have not seen in some 45 years!  Most preparations have been made by my former classmates.  As I write, I am preparing to make the three hour or so drive over from I-95 in NC where I am now (my journey up and down the East Coast along I-95 has had its moments to which I will cover in the near future).  This promises to be an interesting and fun day!

 

*  *  *

Those years there were among the happiest of my life.  The people (kids in my school class) were very nice and decent kids.  Even though we had just moved down there from Massachusetts (where my father's company was headquartered), and so being a Yankee (um, recall that in the mid-1960s the War Between the States was a mere 100 years before...), the locals treated us very nicely (well, most of them...).

Small towns in the South in the 1960s were typically rather poor by US standards.  You will need to look on a good map of use a search engine to find it.  Bethune had one stoplight (at the junction of US 1 and SC Hwy 341).  Two small elementary schools with one high school.  The one cop also had to split his duty with nearby McBee, seven miles away.  There was little crime, so Officer Falkenberry was not overworked.  Recall those days: Vietnam protests, "sex & drugs & rock 'n' roll", hippies..., much of that had not arrived to Bethune yet, although the social changes DID get there later on.  After the 7th Grade we moved away as my dad got a promotion to HQ up in Boston.

And as the years went by, I lost track of my friends there in Bethune.

Until recently, when one of them found me via Facebook.  O, ye doubters of Facebook and technology!  Responsibly used, even Facebook is of great value!  (LOL)  So, as I had plans to pass relatively close on I-95, some of them helped me to plan a small reunion this Sunday.

So, for now I pause in writing this piece, all that follows will be what happens (happened) later today...

*  *  *

Today was a beautiful day to visit.  In addition to seeing whatever friends I could from the 45 or so years ago, I wanted to see certain places that I remember well.  Here is the house we lived in (for real, of course the picture at top was a joke, it is our family though).

602 S. Walton St., see number written vertically in blue at far right.  The trees are different, and the house appears to have improvements, but that's the place!  Note sandy soil at lower left, almost all of the soils around this part of SC are sandy, but they still grow plenty of corn, soybeans and cotton.

Most of Bethune is centered on Main Street and US Highway 1 (Columbia, the capital of South Carolina, is 52 miles away on US 1).  It is (and was) the main intersection in town.  Here is a photo of Main St. (SC Hwy 341), recall that Bethune is very small!

There is one stoplight in town, you can see it some 50 yds. from where I took the picture, way beyond is a blinking red light (you can just see it to the "left" of the car with headlights on), where US 1 crosses (and has the right-of-way).  You can also notice the railroad crossing signal, this was the Seaboard Coast Line when we lived there (now part of CSX).  Yes, my brother and I would put a couple of pennies on the rails when a train would come...

Welcome to Bethune:

 

*  *  *

 

I arrived in town early, before I had scheduled to meet whomever would come (3:00 PM, so it would not conflict with church or lunch), that is why I took the above pictures.  But, each arrived, in two cases with spouse, neither of whom I had met.  We met at the eating part of the Exxon (not visible in the photo I took of Main St. and US 1 I took above).  Meet five of my friends from the Bethune High School of 1974 (even though I went on to another school after we moved from Bethune):

Left to right: Libby Catoe, Leroy Stevens, Starling Stokes (green shirt at back), Larry Farmer (with SC Gamecocks hat), Ronnie Newman (partly blocked by Larry) and Libby's husband.  All of them (ex. Ronnie) still live in Bethune, Ronnie lives in Columbia, SC.  Two more were hoping to come by, but had commitments they could not abandon.  (Maybe next time!)  We talked mostly about other friends, people and teachers we had, o so many years ago.  There have been a couple of people I know who have passed along, and another one or two with health problems, but this is what people in their fifties all experience...

It is very important for me to now mention something.  These five classmates, from long ago, are among the finest & kindest people I ever had the pleasure of being friends with. 

I moved there from the north (ie, I was a Yankee, yes in the South they have long memories), yet I was treated wonderfully, much better than at the school I then went to up north for five years (Grades 8 - 12).  I now wish I had come to Bethune years ago...  These valued friends today added a LOT of value to my life!  Thank you very much for your kind hospitality.  I will never forget today.

*  *  *



We chatted awhile, but Leroy had to leave.  He had work to do, on Sunday!  Leroy owns a business (which I will describe below).  After he left, the others mentioned his incredible work-ethic.  It was normal for him to work (at least some) on Sundays.

Some 30 minutes after he left to go back to work, we saw him drive his backhoe by on US 1, on his way to pick up some clay.  HE went, not one of his employees.

Leroy owns Bethune Pottery, he makes lots of lawn ornaments and similar products out of a mixture of cement and clay.  (I did not ask anything about his production processes, other that he uses molds that he gets from various places)  His business is the largest "small business" in Bethune, he employs about 10 people.  Here is a fun little item from a Yahoo pottery group about clay coming from Bethune and mentioning Leroy's business:

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/clayart/conversations/topics/339864

The Augusta (Georgia) newspaper had an article listed by Google, but I could not bring it up.

After our snack & chat, Larry and his lovely wife Jean led me out to Leroy's business.  Here is an overview picture:

If I understood correctly, his is one of the very largest businesses of this type in the South!

While we there, Leroy had come back.  Here he is off to get more clay, but using his tractor and a wagon...  The man, my old friend works (Sunday today...)!  And his success proves it.  And, he REALLY WAS working today, the photo is not a posed shot, I had to STOP him to take the picture.

 

*  *  *

If you haven't figured it out yet, I was and am very moved by re-starting my friendships from such fine people from so long ago.  These people, from a remote place not well connected to most of my readers, I deeply thank and welcome their friendship again.

Fare well Bethune, until I have the chance to back.

Real Friends and Virtual Friends

Since I started publishing my blog about a year and a half ago, I have started numerous email and "chat" conversations with several "virtual friends", people I do not know in real life (and found over the Internet, especially from Zero Hedge), but who have similar interests to mine and who are friendly at the same time.  Before starting my blog, I had about two virtual friends, now I have several that I keep in regular contact with.

My "real friends" are people who I actually know in person and try to visit with whenever possible. They are a diverse lot, and it looks like I am about to tap into a new source of friends from a group I have recently joined.

The best definition of a "friend" is someone you with whom you enjoy their company, passing some time with them.  Friendship has been shown to have numerous benefits: lowering stress and keeping self-perceived happiness higher are just two of them.

I even now have what I will call "hybrid friends" (NO INSULT!!!), those who I know (personally) SOME, but am staying in contact with...

***

I read a few years ago a book that predicted that the Very Rich would eventually identify more with their "class" (as in "Upper Class") more so than their nationality.  The book made a powerful case, in that the Very Rich would have similar interests and problems (mainly those who would confiscate their wealth as well as exploring business & investment opportunities).  I regret that I cannot remember the title of that book...

I suspect that is probably happening today, the Very Rich getting together when they can, more so than in the past, because the Internet makes it easier to find each other.  I do not mean the Elite (Bilderbergers, etc.), as they (the Elite) have always gotten together...  We know this has been going on, the Very (Very) Rich getting together to plot and plan, because we know a lot about the founding of the Federal Reserve (1913) and the planning that went on YEARS before.

But, this article is about virtual friends and real friends.  My virtual friends have almost always approached me in response to something I had written, whether at Zero Hedge or at my blog itself. I have met personally with two people from Zero Hedge, one was a virtual friend for sometime (and has since moved north, que pena...) and the other who has since moved on (maybe because our interests are not as much as in common as we had guessed).  At least one is from Europe.  I stay in regular touch with at least TEN virtual friends, and I occasionally hear from a few others.  All of them are friendly.  All of them share at least some common interests similar to my own.

My virtual friends share an interest in gold, the financial system and related topics.  I have had extensive communications with some, have offered advice (FWTW, which is nearly zero) and just sending links and jokes with each other.

My sort-of infamous Joke List (up to about 45 people) has about 50% virtual friends on it.  We do not even KNOW each other, yet we stay in touch...

***

I do not know if someone has studied this (probably so, almost "everything" has been studied...), but this phenomenon cannot be happening to just me.

My thinking is that this is mostly a very good thing.  Yes, there are risks that the weak and/or unwary can be entrapped or make some mistakes in dealing with people they do not even know.  But, so far, I have not had any real problems.

Hey, with ONE exception, no one in my family knows anything or even cares about gold...

***

Another thought I would throw out for my readers' review is that the risk of making and keeping Real Friends might be at risk, especially by those of us who spend a lot (too much?) time on the computer.  Yes, I see the risk.  Writing thoughts to people you do not know (in person) is a low risk way of venting and/or communicating, but the "real" component of friendship is left out.

This topic HAS been explored, especially in that many lonely people have been unable (for a variety of reasons) to make real friendships, especially those looking for love...  So, they make up for it by by having lots of virtual friendships (and even virtual sex...).

***

Left out of virtual friendship is the fellowship of BEING with one or more friends: just shooting the bull, hoisting a beer, going on a "field trip" (shooting our guns for me, taking day trips or going to the opera for my wife) or just hanging out...  "Just hanging out" was often the thing I did the most when I was younger, with my friends.

Also, the intangible (body language, meals or events together, hearing real laughter) things are missed in virtual friendships...

***

"Someone" has probably studied some of the social media and the phenomenon that many of us have seen at Facebook.  Some of my 55 or so "friends" (most of them real friends, including two of them from my childhood that I had LONG lost contact with) at Facebook have HUNDREDS of friends...

Once I did a quick & dirty calculation as to how many "friends" I had made in my entire life.  During this exercise, I counted as a "friend" anyone whom I had gotten their name and had a real conversation with.  A very loose definition of friendship!  But, I did this to see how people younger than me could have 600 or more "friends", just at Facebook...  My count of friends works out to about 350 - 450 people (remember, these are just people I had had a real conversation with).  Maybe I undercounted, maybe, say, I have had 500 "friends" in that sense.  That still pales by comparison to the 600 - 1000 I have seen in a couple of cases.  Of course, for those who have hundreds at Facebook, almost all would be virtual, and maybe not even that (just running up the count).

***

A topic which was crept through the door, and which in part prompted this post at my blog, is the idea of converting (or partially converting) virtual friends into real friends.

My favorite blogger has recently been interviewing some of his followers via video with Skype (and posting these to his blog), and so to an extant making his virtual friendships a little closer.   This is an idea that I had not run into before, but may be fascinating to follow.  He has so far interviewed (or "debriefed") four of his more knowledgeable and technically adept followers.  And his blog has had over 3,000,000 "hits" (single visits).  Those interested might take a look:

fofoa.blogspot.com

***

So, there are my thoughts on this topic I have pondered on a bit.  As with ALL of my friends, I welcome your thoughts and comments!

My grief has overwhelmed me tonight...

My "new" friend Serge (died one year ago) and my the recent loss of my long time ago college roommate Dave Thompson have me left in a state of grief tonight, very hard...  At least this has eliminated some toxic salt from me.

Nothing like for their immediate families, Naydu and whomever of David Thompson's loved ones, please accept my prayers and best wishes for God's comfort for you in the days and months to come...  Please spread the word that I cared...

Death is part of life, but is so hard to accept sometimes...

(::...>...(...:   That loss is so hard to take, even though I have lost FEW of my closest loved ones.  What awaits me when the closest of my loved ones go...  Oh...  Will be very hard, I only hope that births will compensate...

Please excuse the excess sentiment from your host, I just cannot write anymore through my tears...  Perhaps I am just weak at heart......   I sign off as a fractured heart, yet knowing that many of you have suffered FAR WORSE...  Go with God my friends.......

Death Of An Amigo From Long Ago

I was advised by a Facebook group who are friends with each other that an old friend, and for a semester my college roommate had just died.

Over the past couple of years I have had a fair number of people I know who have died, now a second one who was roughly my age.  Some of these deaths have really stung...

David Thompson was starting his first year at Rice U., and that first semester we were roommates.  David and I would on occasion have conversations, after we had agreed to go to bed and turned the lights out, there in the dark.  Many of these conversations would be about religion and related topics.  Dave was from Tennessee, had not gotten out much before coming to Rice (Houston, TX) and was trying to integrate his views with the wider ranging reality he came to see in the big city, away from home.  He was in many ways a perfect gentleman.  He was enthusiastic and participated in many things (most of which I did not).

Dave had a tougher life after I lost touch with him.  Pretty bad.  He was unable to finish getting a degree or being able to hold down a steady job, through no fault of his own.  He died while being cared for in a special home...

After Ron C there at Facebook (whom I do not know) confirmed that it was indeed "our" David Thompson, I shared my thoughts with the group.  Lately, I have taken up a new way to remember people, and to help others remember or better know that person by sharing anecdotes about my friend(s) that no one else knows...  I shared the below (snippet, my anecdote is the second paragraph) with the Facebook group:

He was, in essence, a perfect gentleman.  I regret hearing about his difficult and challenging life later on.  But, while I knew him, his enthusiasm and good heart made me happy in his company.  "Happiness in someone's company" is the best definition of a friend I have encountered.

Let me share an anecdote.  Some of you may know I was terrible at winning the the affection of any girls there at Rice, "I couldn't even get a girl to break my heart" (stolen from Sean Hannity).  Well, one evening down in the Pub, I was talking with two Rice girls.  The three of us happened to like Pink Floyd, and I had most of their records and had a cheapie stereo there at our room.  I invited them to come up and "listen to Pink Floyd in the dark."  They accepted, and we went to my room.  I opened the door, and there was Dave, studying...  I sort-of pulled rank on him and asked if he would like to abandon whatever it was he was doing and join us in listening to Pink Floyd, which I imagine he was familiar with as I played their music often.  He said OK, and so for maybe an hour or so we, the four of us, listened to Pink Floyd.  The Rice ladies then went along their way, and not much became of that (a little, at a later time, but not much).

I once told my friend Mike Connell (also not graduated from Rice, would have been 1978, Will Rice) that story.  He laughed and LOVED it!  He thought that was a great line: "Hey, baby, want to come up to my room and listen to Pink Floyd in the dark?"

David Thompson!  In pace recquiescat.  Those of us who knew you will always remember you with fondness.  RIP, my old friend, and to apparently many of us as well.

R A Mix

Indeed Dave, although it has been a long time, I am remembering you today...  Indeed In Pace Recquiescat...  I use the Latin, not to be a snob, but because Latin is OLD, old ideas are the ones that endure...  "There is nothing new under the sun." -- Ecclesiastes

Below song is sung by Amber Rae, it is Jerry Jeff Walker's song.  Some of you saw J.J.W. at the plantation there in SC when my brother brought him in for that charity event several years ago.  "Little Bird" is probably my favorite of his songs...

"Picture of my face on the window pane,

Is it tears I see or is it rain?"

3:01

Little Bird ~ by Amber Rae

Originally performed by Jerry Jeff Walker. This one's for daddy.